In Brene Brown’s series on HBO, “Atlas of the Heart,” Brown has a conversation with the audience about emotion words. She talks about the research in defining these words, and how the research describes identifying the correct word, as important to processing the emotion.
One episode explored the use of the word, “Overwhelmed.” A lot of times, we might use this word to describe the stress we are facing at work, at home, or just with life in general. But Brown emphasizes that it’s extremely important to identify if we are truly overwhelmed, or just “Stressed.” There’s a difference in the meaning of those two emotions.
Brown explained, “When we say we’re overwhelmed, it’s really telling our body, “Things are happening too fast, we can’t handle them. Shut down. Shut down.” Instead, we need to assess if we’re feeling overwhelmed or stressed.
When we’re stressed, we feel a lot of outside (or even internal) pressure, but we can handle it. We know what actions to take to fix it. We can logistically and emotionally take on those actions, even if we’re concerned about how much time and effort they’ll take. Being overwhelmed, however, means we’re incapable of taking action. We’re so consumed by the pressures on us that we can’t do anything about it.
It's important to identify if the emotion is “stress,” or “overwhelm,” because this determines the appropriate response one should take with each of these different emotions. In stress, we can still function. We can problem solve. While emotions may be heightened, we can still think and act. But in being overwhelmed, the ability to think, to take action, is compromised. The best response to the feelings of overwhelm, is to take no action. And for a lot of us, that takes some relearning!
Most of us in overwhelming situations, feel the need to act. We expect ourselves to be able to navigate to a place where we are no longer overwhelmed, as so the suggested response may seem a bit counterintuitive.
What You Can Do
So, the next time you’ve identified the feeling of “Overwhelm,” do something different. Give yourself the permission and the space to take no action. Find a quiet place where you can just sit. Take a short walk. Change your environment for a few minutes. Notice the new surroundings, listen to the birds chirping, watch the wind as it blows through the trees. Just do nothing for that moment.
Trying something different is not a new suggestion in psychotherapy circles. It’s actually an important part of learning new skills and tools that help an individual navigate life in a new way. I’m hoping you’ll find this suggestion helpful in your own life as you begin to learn new strategies for dealing with those feelings of being overwhelmed, in the future!
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